Mama Marriage Counselor

Who had it first?  Who does it belong to?  Where did she find it?  What did she do to you after that?

Do you decide for the plaintiff or the defendant?  And which one is which anyway?

I used to view my role in sibling disputes more like that of a judge: hear the facts, render a verdict and hand down a sentence.

And then one day, everything began to change When God Turned the Tables on Me.

And now, I am learning, slowly, that being a mama in the midst of little people is more like the role of a marriage counselor than the role of a judge.  Sure, I can make a ruling on who gets the ball, who gets to sit there or whose turn is next.  That is much simpler and quicker.  And it is of value to my children … for about the next 35 seconds until another dispute erupts.  Or, I can walk alongside them and teach them how to understand what is going on in their own hearts.  I can view each “episode” as a learning opportunity for understanding people, their needs, our needs and our own tendencies.  And that is of eternally lasting value.

There are, however, two problems with this second approach.  First, it takes a lot longer.  It is a lot more challenging mentally, physically and emotionally to really invest into people’s lives, to sit with them in their struggle and to be a safe place for them to turn their hearts inside out and dump everything onto the table for you to peruse.

Secondly, it will inevitably lead to your own journey of self-discovery.  You will never be that safe place unless your heart is inside out on the table, too.  But hold onto your hat, sister.  Once you start this journey, side by side with those little people who live in your home and breathe the same air you breathe, you will never be the same again.  It is like drinking from a fire hydrant.  So much testing by fire (or by water?) that sometimes you will wish you could go back to being the impartial judge and sentence-declarer.

And this is why we need to – we must – take this journey in community.  Will you join us here?  Think of this as the counselors’ meeting room.  Let us stir one another up to love and good works!

Peace is an Uphill Climb

Rejoicing and Weeping

Outdo One Another in Showing Honor

1 Corinthians 13 for Siblings

Overcome Evil with Good

How to Avoid the “Gotcha” Trap

The Issue is not The Issue

Win Your Brother

3 Kinds of “I’m Sorry”

A Mediator Worthy of Trust

7 Comment

  1. […] post is a part of the Mama Marriage Counselor […]

  2. […] called this series “Mama Marriage Counselor” because over the years I’ve come to realize just how similar parenting siblings is to […]

  3. […] This post is a part of the Mama Marriage Counselor series. […]

  4. […] Then, take them with you as you go to the cross.  Pray – out loud, right there in front of them – and show them what we do with sins and failures when we find them.  Confess.  Thank the Lord for his free grace and forgiveness.  And then invite them to do the same with you.  That would be a great way to start the “sermon” (Matthew 7:4). 😉 This post is a part of the Mama Marriage Counselor series. […]

  5. […] post is a part of the Mama Marriage Counselor […]

  6. […] the next little while, the Mama Marriage Counselor series is going to focus on conflict resolution.  Today we’re going to start with that first […]

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